If You Love, Be Ready to Get Hurt.

Discernment is the ability to see and understand people, things, or situations clearly and intelligently. It is also the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure. It is commonly known as an act of perceiving. I have a friend who has this kind of gift from childhood. He was able to discern the threats, danger, untrustworthy people and the feelings of others. It enables him to connect well to a lot of people. Though he has this gift, he’s weak in exercising sound judgement, especially in dealing with people who are special and close to his heart. The compassionate “him” is always there to give the other person the benefit of the doubt. With this, he became vulnerable to heartaches. Just like yesterday. There is this person who is so dear to his. He supporting her with all his might and all the resources that he have. He promised that he’ll do everything just for her to be okay. Out of nowhere, he had decided to take a peek on her yahoo account. After couple of trial for her password, he was able to open her account. Then, he remembers that it is link on her Facebook account that’s why he decided to open it as well. He reset the password without logging out the Facebook account to other devices (clever him). To his surprise, this f*ck*ng lady is sh*tting on him. His girlfriend has boyfriend in the Philippines as well. (They are in LDR relationship after the lady decided to finish her studies. It’s the plan to establish their future anyway.) It’s not the first time that the lady lied and cheated on him. It happened before. Apologies accepted. She has been forgiven with a condition that she will not do it again. He was able to take screenshots of his girlfriend and the new boyfriend’s conversation. He takes a smart move of sending it to her. This is how it goes “Hi babe, *screenshots* I guess you already know what’s next. Take care. I had enough”. Exchanging of words happened, with no intention of hurting her back though he is raging in anger. He wants her to feel that she lose a lot. He sacrificed a lot here in overseas. He is sending her 70-90% of his salary just for her to feel a bit of comfort while studying. He is walking every day from home to office and office to home just to save taxi fare. He is not eating breakfast and dinner, smoking cheap cigarette, shifted from room to bedspace and barely buying clothes just to save money. He disconnected his other mobile plan to save 100dirhams every month. All of this, just for her. Last month, his girlfriend ask her about the tour (mandatory for her course) amounting to 30,000 pesos. He’s generous enough or maybe stupid enough to send her the whole money for the tour plus the monthly allowance, only to find out that the tour got cancelled but missed or intended not to inform him. Him slapped with the truth; found out that the tour which she is talking about was a private tour with her and her boyfriend. Good job! Two thumbs-up! She cheated on him big time! She not only broke his heart but crushed it into pieces. I admire his courage though. He said that he already forgave her. He told me that those who carry hatred are prisoner of hatred. He said that he suffered enough and he’s not planning to punish himself more. He told me that if he releases forgiveness, it will not mean you are weak, it’s the contrary. If you were able to release forgiveness, you are freeing yourself from pain. Not instantly but surely. Time heals all wounds, he mentioned. As I look at him today, I can see that he’s still not ok. Judging from the looks on his eyes, he is deeply hurting. But I know he will be fine. He only needs time to heal and time to forget.

For all that is hurting right now, don’t think that you are alone. Every trial is enough for us to bear and it will give us lesson that will make us stronger and better person.